Wow!! Never thought I would make this public but I feel in the African American community we hide mental illness like its something to be ashamed of and its not. Like anything its something that you can not help and something that with help you can live a normal life. I was diagnosed in 2010 after have been laid off my job, losing my two year old niece, being sick, and being betrayed by a friend. I was at my wits end with everything and that is not like me.
If you know me I am a happy person always making people laugh. I always making jokes no matter the topic its just who I am. But this time was different I couldn't shake the feeling that left me not wanting to live this life anymore. I knew I needed help. Thank God Georgia has a mental health crisis line that I found on Google.
I called them and was referred to a clinic where I was diagnosed. I went to group and single counseling to help get over the grief, the shock and everything else going on in my life. I did take pills and I was able to live a normal life. Now after a while I was kicked out the program because I wasn't able to pay for it and my insurance was gone. So I used the coping skills I learned to deal with life problems and that helped for a min. I still had my moments but I was decent ( besides the insomnia, the crying spells and lack of concentration that cost me too many jobs to count.)
Well in March of this year I was the witness to something that I never wish on anyone in my life. My neighbors son was murdered pretty much but in front of me, I had a sibling betray me and hurt me to my core, I had family members choose sides in the sibling fight and not dealing with me when they normally did. I won't go into detail but after that I could no longer hide my depression it was there full force for everyone to see (including my boss who I broke down in front of when I told her about the murder) The company was understanding at first but not for long. I am currently in counseling once a week and finally get to see a therapist in a few weeks to get back on meds to help me.
Before anyone ask yes I have tried natural alternatives and other things but witnessing a murder they are not working. I cry a lot, I am sad I feel lonely even in a room full of people. I don't sleep, I force myself to eat, I can't concentrate on any one thing, I forget what I am talking about mid conversation. I have honestly never been this bad its scary.
I have my good days (like today where I was decent, still forgetting what I am talking about mid conversation). But I didn't stay in bed like I do some days so sore and tired (no matter how much I sleep). Just know that we are not making this up this is not something that we can control. Don't make us feel ashamed for going to counseling cause no matter how much spirit or love of God we have in us. We all need to talk to a third party that will give us there honest opinion, won't judge us, and won't tell us something not in our best interest. For me and many others its what's making us better.
So if u call and i am sleep or i miss a event or I don't answer the phone. i maybe having a bad day don't hold it against me.
If you need need help please call:
Georgia Crisis Line: 1-800-715-4225
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1‑800‑273‑TALK
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Just want to let you know that the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) covers depression and your employer committed an illegal act in firing you for that. Please think about contacting the Georgia Human Rights Commission. Good luck to you.